DON'T  ADD  GUILT  TO  DEPRESSION

As we clasped hands in prayer, the pain our friends were feeling cursed through all of us like a lightning bolt.  They were devestated by shame--unnecessary shame--because they suffered from depression and were unable to control it without medication.  The words erupted from their hearts:   ""I feel guilty for taking medication for my depression.  Several people from church told me I don't need it, that if I had enough faith I would be healed."  

Another said, "My own mother wants me to quit taking medication for depression.  She says if I'm really a Christian, God would take the depression away from me."  

"I've tried going off the medication and find that my depression gets even worse.  Yet, I feel I'm not a good enough Christian if I can't control the depression without medication."

"I suppose because depression is of the mind, it seems I should be able to control it.  But I can't do that even though I feel close to the Lord."

Listening to those heartbreaking emotions from my friends in the Bible class convicted me to do something to help. But how to go about helping when too often this guilt harassment Christians suffer from depression is propigated by the church or other concerned Christians.  


God is the great Healer, and I don't want to minimize his healing in any way.  He often heals miraculously, but if He doesn't choose to heal right away, is that a basis for guilt to the Christian?  

Many think so.  If healing doesn't take place, they question whether they have offended God in some way, and they agonize over the way others view them. "The Christian life must be lived 'inside-out," says Tom Allen in his book Foolish Things Christians Do To Stunt Their Growth, referring to Christians who ignore the inner life with Christ and focus on outward appearances.

Dr. James Dobson in his book on emotions describes guilt as a video recording that plays its negative scenes, sometimes self-inflicted or imposed by circumstances.  He surmises that all of our impulses and thoughts are vulnerable to our physical condition and psychological situation at any given moment -- such as amount of sleep, our health, level of confidence at that time, and other forces which trap us.  "Few human emotions are as distressing and painful as feelings of guilt and personal disapproval."  

As painful as those emotions are, unnecessary  or "bad" guilt is even more painful.  Becca Cowan Johnson authored a book describing the differences between "good" guilt (guilt for a commited sin which causes us to draw close to God), and "bad" guilt which is untrue, unfounded and leads to self-condemnation. Any feeling of guilt that doesn't have a Biblical basis is false guilt.  To feel guilty and to actually be guilty are not necessarily the same thing, yet much of the guilt Christians experience is false, or bad, guilt.

Bad guilt is a time-waster, according to Becca Cowan Johnson. It's a resource-user and energy-drainer.  It's destructive to our relationships, productivity and creativity.  What causes it?  And how do we get sucked into it?  

The simple little word "perfectionism" can be one reason for getting sucked into false guilt.  Perfectionists strive to be perfect in themselves and in their relationship with God, forgetting that Christ is doing the work of perfecting.  Human strivings can lead to discouragement.  Satan often works to discourage believers by setting an impossible standard which when failing, leads to self-condemnation.   

A Christian's false guilt can be fueled by the erroneous or well-meaning judgment of others.  Dr. Al Larson of Dynamics of Growth, Inc. in St. Paul, Minnesota says as a counselor he sees a lot of ignorance in the body of Christ about the emotional problems people encounter in their lives.  "There's a condition in the church to put on facades about life, which is at times perpetuated  by the elders, pastors and people in authority -- conditions that give a message people need to act a certain way emotionally, or look a certain way as if they have no problems.  If people don't live within those boundaries, as in the specific instance of depression, they are assumed to be in sin, possibly possessed, uncaring and not wanting to get well, or most often they are assumed to have a lack of faith."

"Religious legalism" also perpetuates false guilt.  The concern is law and traditions rather than the freedom gained through Christ Jesus.  Some Christian religious denominations  fear their people will abuse their freedom in Christ if they don't have stringent rules to follow.  "Rules over Gospel" mentality encourages negativizm rather than understanding and love, and false guilt swells each time the rules are broken.  Romans 7:6  (NIV)  "But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code."

Codes of behavior learned in childhood contribute to our sense of worth and our habits, good or bad.  The behavior code that doesn't allow for error is without mercy when an error is committed.  The habit of feeling guilt over errors grows with us into adulthood.  "As grown children we generally forget to filter all of these rights and wrongs through an adult mentality, " states Becca Cowan Johnson.  "We perpetuate what we were taught without questioning whether it is applicable now.  We often retain values, rules and beliefs that should have been shed long ago."   

False guilt is primed when we lead a "performance based" religious life.  In his book, Tired of Trying To Measure Up, Jeff Van Vonderen explains, "Performance-based religion shames people for struggling, asking, doubting, feeling, or resting...and for not complying, reading, giving, attending, or doing."  Offsetting that type of religion is Jesus' compassion for those suffering.  Jesus wasn't disgusted with people; his response was never to shame people, and his compassion toward people in pain always resulted in acting on their behalf -- feeding them, healing them, comforting them, meeting whatever need they had.  Jeff observes that in shame-based religious thinking, the focus is on effort and if those efforts aren't achieved, there's the undercurrent of having to"try harder."

We try harder to meet the expectations of others. and any unmet expectations usually results in frustration and false guilt, but God never meant that for his followers. When expectations are overwhelming, distraction from God's purposes and loss of motivation can occur.  A friend asked, "If I'm depressed and can't pull myself out of it even with medication, how can I live up to the expectations God has for me?"  Becca Cowan Johnson explains expectations as either challenging or convicting us, exhilarateing or exhausinting us.  God's expectations of us would not convict or exhaust us.  "They can lead us to greater heights as we seek to fulfill them, or they can lead to the depths of despair as we fall under their enormous weight."  
 
If we despair in our guilt, doubt can rear its ugly head and we may doubt the promises of God and His provisions for us.  Doubting God leads us to self-doubt, which can cause the weight of self-condemnation.  "Self-condemnation overpowers our ability to sort out unwanted feelings and behaviors and becomes the center of attention.  Though guilt is the root, we see only the overgrown weed of self-criticism.  We often assume God is also condemning us as we are condemning ourselves." (Good guilt/bad guilt)

Guilt is pervasive.  It distorts, perverts thinking, and can lead to confusion.  It can destroy our relationships with others, even our family members.  If we are overwhelmed with guilt we may be unable to experience the pleasures of life, and wrongly assume we are the only one suffering in this way.

When Satan wants us to fail, there's always a "satanic struggle."   Jeff Van Vonderen reminds us that Satan is the great con artist.  He cons us by using people, circumstances and memories to condemn us and to obscure the identify we have as Christians.  He undermines the reliable quality of God's love.  The results of these false, misguided feelings of guilt can be Satan's victory.  He is the accuser hurling lies and accusations at us because he knows we will feel guilty, thereby erodings our effectiveness in our ministry for Christ.  Because of our false guilt, we may lead a defeated, negative life.  

Lastly, we may experience physical results of our guilt.  Our energy drained.  Is Satan winning?

Certainly not if we consider Jesus' humanity as told in Ephesians 1:7-8  (TLB)  "So overflowing is his kindness towards us that he took away all our sins through the blood of his Son, by whom we are saved; and he has showered down upon us the richness of his grace -- for how well he understands us and knows what is best for us at all times."  Christ on the cross felt rejection.  He experienced all the feelings we experience and yet He was and still is God.  Jesus' humanity knows the feelings of good and bad guilt.  

And Jesus leads us to Grace.  Of all the solutions to false guilt, g-r-a-c-e is the word.  When we receive grace, we receive something we don't deserve -- a gift, freely given, based on Christ's performance, not ours.  We can't earn it.  Ephesians 2:8 (TLB)  "Because of his kindness you have been saved through trusting Christ.  And even trusting is not of yourselves; it too is a gift from God."  We can learn to release our false guilt to him, whose death on the cross takes away our guilt, real and misguided.  Guilt and grace cannot exist together.  We cannot do anything to make God love us more, nor do anything to make God love us less.  But we need to believe in the Grace of God before we can use and receive it.  

As we accept God's grace, letting it to flow through our thoughts and attitudes, consider what we can do to displace the unnecessary guilt feelings we experience with depression and medications.  

1)    Begin by remembering the guarantee that we are new creatures in Christ.  We are already acceptable to God, and we already have the victory.  We are in his control.  1 John 5:4 (RSV) "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that that overcomes the world, our faith."  In 1 Cor. 1:30, Paul speaks of God's righteousness with which we are clothed.  It cost Jesus His life blood to procure this for us, and because we are clothed in his righteousness, we are accepted by our holy God -- standing blameless before him.  "We are already victorious through Christ if we believe He is the Son of God."  1 John 5:4-5.

2)    Secondly, allow yourself to be strong in the Lord, strengthened by him as you daily renew your mind.  Isaiah 26:3 (TLB)  "He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord!"  Reprogram your brains to God's way of thinking.  Surrender to him -- rest in him.  Isaiah 30:15a (NIV)  ..."In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..."  You've heard the phrase -- "You are what you eat" -- likewise, what you believe determines your attitudes and responses to the problems you face.  

3)    Realize you're in a spiritual battle.  Fight the "faith fight."  Refuse to allow anyone or anything to gain mastery over you.  As Charles Swindol writes in his book, Come Before Winter, "that mastery belongs only to the Lord Jesus Christ."  Confirm Romans 8:1-2 (NIV)  "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."  Matilda Nordtvedt wrote in Living Beyond Depression of the time she was experiencing acute depression and greeted each dawn with dread.  "I did not recognize the enemy's voice.  I did not realize that I could put him to flight if I greeted the dawn with a song of trust and praise instead of doubt and worry. The devil can plant his seed of discouragement anywhere except in a thankful heart."  

4)    Identify the negative messages you tell yourself, then develop new and healthier ones to replace them.  Identify your guilt - evaluate your guilt feelings before accepting them as accuratae -- evaluating them by Biblical standards.  K.C. Hinckley's writes in his book, A Compact Guide To The Christian Life, "If you aren't really guilty of a certain sin, let go of the feeling."  Try to see your unnecessary guilt through God's perspective.  To do this, it's important to accept your strengths, your weaknesses, and your limitations.  You alone choose what you put into your memory bank, so your response is often of your own making.  Break the habit of assuming you are guilty.  

5)    As you work on identifying and evaluating the false guilt, it's important to forgive yourself for any unfulfilled expectations, and discard other's unrealistic expectations of you.  Seek to know God and his expectations.  Look to him for insight and guidance, not to other people.  God wants all to lean on him.  Prov. 3:5-6  "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."  Ask God what his will is for us, based on his Word not our feelings.  Feelings don't give reliable testimony of our guilt.  God uses our experiences to teach us to depend not on feelings of his presence, but on unshakable faith. (# bib-A compact guide to the Christian life)  

6)    Discern what you value and esteem.  Open yourself up to the Holy Spirit.  Seek godly advisers.  Becca Cowan Johnson reminds us that "Discernment requires that we develop the ability to differentiate whether our sense of wrongdoing is from God or from people." Don't anticipate what others are thinking or feeling about you.  Jumping to conclusions can leave you overwhelmed with guilt.  Seek clarification instead of assuming the worst, and realize there are many other Christians who are experiencing the same illness and the same unnecessary guilt that you are experiencing

7)    Finally, drive out your problems with Praise!  Praise is a reminder of God's faithfulness whatever our situation.   Psalm 34:1-3 (TLB)  "I will praise the Lord no matter what ahppens.  I will constantly speak of his glories and grace."  Psalm 103:11-12 "For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him."  Psalm 91:4 (TLB) "He will shield you with his wings!  They will shelter you.  His faithful promises are your armor."  Psalm 100:5(NIV) "For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

God's faithfulness brings us back full circle to his GRACE.  Can you accept God's grace as an answer to your worth?  Can you accept his grace to enable you to get rid of the unnecessary guilt about your depression?  I think of God's grace as a life preserver thrown to a drowning man.  How deadly for him to reject it.  

Max Lucado writes in his book, No Wonder They Call Him the Savior,  "We take our free gift and try to earn it or diagnose it or pay for it instead of simply saying 'thank you' and accepting it."  When Barabbas was set free in exchange for the imprisonment of Jesus, he probably didn't understand why but he wasn't about to refuse it.  Lucado states, "We, too, are prisoners with no chance for appeal.  But why some prefer to stay in prison while the cell door has been unlocked is a mystery worth pondering."

Why then, when offered a medication to ease the emotional suffering associated with depression would there be any need to feel guilt?  God's gift of grace is ours to accept, but to accept his grace and then feel guilty about accepting is a form of mockery of God. "Medication many times can stabilize the person chemically," says Dr. Al Larson, "so they can work on their belief systems, thought processes, their environment and other things going on in their lives in order to eventually be free of the medication."  

You are free from unnecessary guilt.  You are free from condemnation.  God loves you and has given you the greatest gift of grace in his son, Jesus Christ.  John 8:36 (NIV)  "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

TOMORROW HAS TWO HANDLES -- ONE IS GUILT, ONE IS GRACE.  YOU ALONE CAN DECIDE WHICH ONE TO GRAB ON TO.





















Ten Suggestions for Overcoming False Guilt:

1)    Identify my false guilt and negative messages, and work to break the habit of assuming I'm guilty.
    James 1:5  (NIV)  "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

2)    Let God's rich grace saturate my thoughts and attitudes, displacing my unnecessary guilt.
    Eph. 2:8 (TLB)  "Because of his kindness you have been saved through trusting Christ.  And even trusting is not of yourselves; it too is a gift from God."

3)    Remember, I am a new creature in Christ.  He has already accepted me.
    2 Corinthians 5:17  (NIV)   "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

4)    Renew my mind daily as I surrender to Christ all my thoughts and desires.
    Romans 12:2  "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

5.    Forgive myself for my unfulfilled expectations, and those others put on me.
    Galations 5:1  (NIV)  "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

6.    Remember I am in a spiritual battle.  Let Christ alone have mastery over me.  I am loved and forgiven, not condemned.
    Romans 8:1  (TLB)  "So there is now no condemnation awaiting those who belong to Christ Jesus."

7.    Belong to a support group to share and identify with others.
    2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (RSV)  "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
 
8.    Praise God continually in all my circumstances.
    Psalm 100:5  (NIV)  "For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."
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"With God's loving arms around you, get on with your life and work," advises Bernard Bangley in his book, "If I'm Forgiven, Why Do I Still Feel Guilty?" "...choose carefully what you put into your memory.  Living a forgiven life is an experience of freedom and joy beyond comparison."  His advice is to say, "Enough of this!  Sure, I am a complex person.  Maybe only God understands me.  But with God's help I can set myself on a more positive, healthier course.  I will at least set my direction toward a happier acceptance of myself."